


Wherever You Find Love

by cattlaydee



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander is insecure, Christmas, F/M, Gen, Gift Fic, Happy Hamildays Secret Santa, Schmoop, and the Schuyler's kind of help him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cattlaydee/pseuds/cattlaydee
Summary: It's December of 1780 and Alexander Hamilton is about to spend his first Christmas as a member of the Schuyler family.And he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eighthofhearts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eighthofhearts/gifts).



> Written for the Happy Hamilday's Secret The title is pulled from "A Muppet Christmas Carol" and while not COMPLETELY relevant to the story (though somewhat) honestly, I was watching the movie when I was struck with this and I couldn't shake it. The spirit of the song got me. Muppets!

It had snowed the day of the wedding, big fat flakes that fell in a sort of lazy way that made one want to curl up near the fire with a blanket. But inside the Schuyler homestead, it remained anything but uneventful.

40 some odd guests on one side, and only one on the other, Alexander Hamilton and Eliza Schuyler were joined in front of God and family and friends. Peggy Schuyler, bridesmaid to her lovely sister, was certain she’d never seen a pair so besotted in all her life. When the groom appeared unbothered to have only the presence of a single friend to witness the event, the remaining crowd seemed to not take any note of it whatsoever; or if they had, they did not comment on it.

The two had spent their wedding night at a cottage in town and would stay there for two weeks until Alexander returned to his service on General Washington’s staff. While they enjoyed their privacy for the first few days following the union, as the Christmas holiday drew near, they could be found within the confines of the home, socializing with the family and helping to prepare the estate for the festivities in the days to come. 

The newlyweds were clearly inseparable, married life clearly agreeing with the both of them; their dispositions were easy and cheerful, and each seemed to exude a glow that was near catching if one encountered them. The closer the days fell to Christmas, the more they found themselves separated by the frenzy of planning, and it was on one of these days that Eliza kissed her husband’s cheek and peeled away to spend time with her mother and youngest infant sister as they planned the dinner menu. This left Alexander to his own devices for an afternoon, and he spent it wandering the manor as he contemplated an issue that had begun to plague him more and more in the previous weeks.

If his goal was to present an air of nonchalance, he was failing at it. In the front sitting room of  the home, Peggy sat at the piano practicing as Angelica tended to the toddler in her lap, calming the babe as her son played on the floor in front of her. She had noticed her brother-in-law pacing about slowly, staring out the windows, shooting glances at the sisters as they chatted back and forth. She spied him finally hanging just outside the threshold of the parlor as if afraid he may catch a terrible bug. She nudged the piano bench with a slippered foot to get Peggy’s attention, and nudged her head toward the doorway.  
  
“We won’t bite, you know.” Angelica finally commented. “But if you continue to just stand there staring at us, you may very well drive us to be mad with concern.”  
  
Peggy grinned at her sister sideways and continued to work at the ivory keys. Alexander flushed and ducked his head, moving into the room.  
  
“My apologies, Angelica. I was merely thinking…”  
  
“As we know you are prone to do.” She supplied with an arched brow. She jostled the baby a bit, and arranged the child so she was sitting closer to the arm of the sofa, sliding over so as to make room for him, and she looked pointedly at the open space. “Please, do join us, brother.”  
  
He brightened at the term, and crossed into the room eagerly, sitting as he was asked and softly tapping the baby on the cheek with a smile and hello before returning his attentions to the sisters.

“And how are you both fairing with the holidays approaching?”

“Father always wants me to play a few things for the guests,” Peggy replied with a shrug. “Always different than the year before. I just can’t decide between the two…”

“Eliza is such a dear,” Angelica said with a sigh, brushing the baby’s hair away from her face. “The children occupy my time so much, and so she has taken on so much with Mother, but I think she enjoys it.” She looked up at Alexander. “And how are you preparing for it? Are you looking forward to the gathering?”

She knew him well enough by now to know that Alexander Hamilton did not start a conversation without a reason, and she suspected the flurry of activity had the potential to overwhelm him, as he was not accustomed to it. She had watched his eyes widen as the servants decorated the main entryway, had seen the way he peered at the grocer when he’d brought bags of potatoes and grain and other trimmings around back to the kitchen, in much larger quantities than they were ever usually used to.

She watched as his teeth worked at his lip with her question, saw how his fingers pressed into the fabric of his breeches near the knee and he sighed.

“I must admit, I didn’t….give much thought to what would happen after the wedding.”

“Oh, I doubt that _very_ much.” Peggy quipped, throwing a sly smile his way and he flushed under it, letting loose a nervous chuckle. Angelica shook her head at her younger sister with a reproachful look and turned back to Alexander.

“Well, then maybe some things.” He admitted with a laugh. “I was only…thinking. On the holiday. I was wondering if I may inquire as to the traditions of the household. Though this may seem belated, I had hoped to resolve it without needing any help, but have found myself at a bit of a loss.”  
  
“Whatever for?”  
  
He opened his mouth as if to answer then clamped it shut before looking down at his hands. “It will be our first Christmas as husband and wife, and I want to ensure that it will be one of her best.” He admitted softly. “Eliza deserves the best.”  
  
The sisters exchanged a look. Any kind of irritation at being watched like a bird in a cage evaporated, and Angelica softened to the man. He was _nervous._ She watched him as he fiddled with a thread on the upholstery before he looked up at her.

“Alexander, you must know Eliza well enough by now to know that she doesn’t concern herself greatly with material things.” Angelica replied softly. “Having you here for the remainder of the year is going to bring her far greater joy than anything else.”

He flushed red at the comment, but shook his head and stood, beginning to pace. Angelica sighed and Peggy turned from her spot on the bench, for they knew that his movement meant thoughts and words, and that he must have already considered this option and found settling on his mere presence unacceptable.

“She has attempted to assure me on many occasions of her disinterest in extravagances, and of that I do not doubt. Your sister is a good girl, and appears to lack the avarice that many other young ladies in her circles seem to display. And it is not that I don’t believe her to be true, it is only that…” He looked down at the sisters now, attempting to appear confident and self-assured but not completely able to hide the insecurities behind his words. “It is apparent that your family traditions may be very different than my own, and I want to make sure Eliza is happy with all of it. I am merely asking for your counsel in doing so.’

“You shouldn’t be afraid of doing anything wrong, if that is what you mean.”

He flustered. “I’m afraid of no such thing! I only wish to make sure I do the right things. I assume there are gifts exchanged. Prayer’s recited. Music enjoyed and hearty meal.”

Peggy nodded. “All of those things, yes. The servants will serve tea and biscuits, and we often play games of backgammon and cards as well. I’m sure it’s not very different than what you’ve experienced in your own past.” Her expression turned thoughtful. “How did you celebrate Christmas where you’re from?”

He scoffed, stiffening at the inquiry and turning towards the window to look out at the expanse of white before sliding a glance at her out of the corner of his eye. “Well, for starters…with far less snow.”

She grinned. “Well, that sounds better already.”

He managed a chuckle but shook his head. “We had our own ways. But I’d very much like to give her the best.” He looked down at the ground, his voice growing thin and soft. “I’d hate to disappoint her when the last few weeks have been so wonderful.”

“Now, Alexander,” Angelica began, rising to her feet and passing the child from her lap to her sister. She walked over to him, any sense of playfulness gone as his anxiety became apparent. “You know Eliza doesn’t care about any of that,” She touched him on the shoulder, and he turned to face her. She took his hands in her own. “For all your trinkets and favors over the past year, the thing she’s so treasured during your courtship have been your letters. It’s what’s in your heart that means more to her. You must know that.”

“I do but…I just want it to be perfect.” He pressed. “I want her to have this forever. Especially in the event that…” He trailed off.

“None of that.” She interrupted his dark train of thoughts, squeezing at his hands. “You know your wife, Alexander. Think of the things she cherishes most, think of those things that have made her the happiest since you’ve begun to write back and forth, and I promise you, she will be the happiest. You worry needlessly.”

He looked wary at her reassurance, but nodded and stepped back away from her, dropping where she held his hands. He frowned for a moment as if in thought, and then began to nod, eyes twitching back and forth as his mind began to work once more, settling quickly on what would be his next course of action.

“Angelica, if she comes looking for me, please tell her I’ve gone into town for the afternoon on an errand and will be back before it’s time for supper? I would just like to visit a few of the shops to consider all options.” He turned and ventured toward the front door and grabbed at his coat on the hook. Angelica looked back at Peggy, who was clearly amused at the sight of her brother in law so antsy over what she believed to be a very simple matter.

“Of course.”

“And don’t give her an indication of what the trip is for.”

Angelica turned back toward him and fought to keep from rolling her eyes. “I will guard your secret with my life.”

Her tone was just a tad sarcastic, and earned her a wry look as he shrugged on his coat and fixed his hat upon his head. “I thank you again, dear sisters, for your advice with such a delicate matter.” He opened the door, the cold breezing in. “I will see you later this evening. Adieu.”

And with that, he swept out of the home, closing the door gently behind him. Angelica shook her head with a soft laugh and made her way back to her seat, and Peggy handed her the baby back, laughing with her as she slowly turned back on the piano bench and began fiddling with the keys.

“And we thought Eliza was far gone.”

* * *

A few days later on Christmas morning, the family sat together and broke their fast with fruit, and bread, and coffee and then made their way collectively into the parlor to exchange gifts. Alexander sidled up behind Eliza where she sat in a corner armchair near the fireplace, while Philip and Catherine took their places jointly on the main sofa, and the rest of the family settled around them. The children were first, each given a doll, or a book, or small wooden carvings of horses or soldiers. The boys immediately took off with a shout and chased each other from the room. Angelica’s youngest, only a little over a year, was quite taken with her stuffed toy, and was then situated on the ground in the corner under the watchful eye of her mother to play.

The adults went next. John, Angelica’s husband, presented her with a beautiful brooch and few books she had mentioned she’d been wanting. Their parents each presented them with a gift, and the sisters then exchanged their own. And then came Alexander, handing a small wrapped box to Eliza, inching back, watching closely as she worked at the ribbon that bound it.

As she removed the paper, Angelica could spy a small wooden box that looked to be well made, with darkly stained wood that shone from the lacquer. Eliza ran her hand over its surface. Her fingers rested on the front of the lid where her initials were carved and she looked up at her husband with a smile.

“Alexander, it’s beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“Open it, my dear. Please.” He urged softly, and she did so and immediately brightened further. The box was lined with a velvet cushioning, with small pillows in which to rest her rings, and small mirror on the back of the lid. From it, she pulled a delicate gold chain; it was not ornate, or spectacular by any means, but Eliza’s expression softened and she handed it to him.

“Oh Alexander, put it on for me?”

Angelica couldn’t help but warm at how pleased he appeared with himself. As he brushed her hair to the side and began to fiddle with the latch, he murmured something else in her ear.

By now, everyone else in the room had mostly gone back to discussing amongst themselves the morning’s events, and so the couple was left in relative privacy; but Angelica could not help but spy. She reached for Peggy where she sat across from her and nodded in their direction, and both quietly watched as Eliza, expression befuddled, removed a small scrap of paper and unrolled it. As her eyes scanned it, her expression grew more and more soft, and her free hand found it’s way to her lips and settled there. Angelica watched her swallow once, then twice, then look up at him.

“Alexander, this is…” She spoke almost in a whisper, the words barely able to be made out, and the pair still seemed to be isolated, save for the focus her sisters had fixed on them.

“Do you like it?” He asked, hope apparent on his face. If it were possible, Eliza softened more as she sensed his eagerness and reached up to touch his face.

“Alexander, it’s beautiful. I will keep it always.” She pressed the paper to her chest, and he leaned close to place a soft kiss on her lips, parting slowly to look into her eyes as they exchanged words that neither observer could place. Feeling as if they were intruding, the sisters turned back toward the other with satisfied expressions.

“It seems Colonel Hamilton worked out his problem just fine,” Peggy muttered softly, fiddling with a scarf in her lap her mother had gifted her, raising her brows with a smile. “You apparently give wonderful advice.”

“Oh come now, you helped.” Angelica replied with a smile, and spared a look back to them for a brief moment. The young newlyweds were sitting close, Alexander’s wrapped gift waiting on his lap and their hands intertwined as they watched the rest of the family, apparently content to just enjoy the scene.

Angelica found herself wishing in that moment for nothing more, than for all their gathering to be so much like this.

* * *

**_December 1854_ **

“What have you there, Betsey?”

Elizabeth Hamilton looked up at her youngest brother, his voice pulling her from meandering thoughts while she shuffled through a box on her lap while seated in front of the hearth. She waved her hand around with a shrug and so he walked closer to inspect, and found a collection of various baubles and trinkets there, as well as folded papers and sketches of which he only recognized a few. The soft smile that had been on his face upon his initial inquiry faded a bit and he sat down across from her, touching her hand.

“I miss her too.”

Eliza Schuyler Hamilton had expired only 3 weeks prior, and while her children had gone through some of the more valuable assets to ensure they maintained anything of value, they had avoided some of her more intimate collections, as it had just been too soon to examine. Phillip watched as his sister sniffed and shuffled through the box once more.

“These are some of her more personal effects,” She replied softly. “I haven’t had the heart to go through it earlier, but I’ve been missing her so with the holiday approaching and…it makes her feel close.”

“Is this the necklace she wore every day? I’d never seen her without it.” He commented, and Elizabeth nodded, making a motion to indicate he was free to examine it closer. He lifted it up gently, and could easily see that the chain was not anything special and that it in fact appeared to have been soldered and repaired once or twice. Attached to it was a small, velvet bag that had been cinched tight and his face pinched in thought; he had never noticed it was anything but a charm. His sister distracted, he fumbled with the bag and gently worked it open. Inside, he found a paper, yellowed with age, almost crumbling at the sides.

Handling it with the utmost care, he unfolded the paper slowly, spying that it had apparently been torn or separated at some point and sewn back together carefully. In faded scrawl, he was able to make out a sonnet:

 _Before no mortal ever knew_  
_A love like mine so tender, true,_  
 _Completely wretched—you away,_  
 _And but half blessed e’en while you stay._  
 _If present love … face_  
 _Deny you to my fond embrace_  
 _No joy unmixed my bosom warms_  
_But when my angel’s in my arms_

“Betsey,” He whispered, looking up at her. “Betsey, have you seen this? It looks like father’s handwriting.”

She looked back at him quickly and stuck out her hand to take it from him, and he rose to stand beside her as they examined it closer in the firelight. Elizabeth made a soft noise, her finger gliding over the top of the edge where the date was scrawled: _December, 1780_

“They were just married,” She whispered. “Oh, and I never knew she kept it so close.”

Both had been so young, Phillip _too_ young, to remember their father in any clear way, and had only their mother’s words and his letters to fill in those blanks. And while she had shared most of his professional correspondence, she had been discreet with her own stories about him. It was like a look into the past, and both were lost in their thoughts for a moment as they imagined their mother a young lady, just married, and obviously so in love, if the words were any indication.

“It helps, does it not?” Philip asked softly. “To know that she is with him again? They obviously loved each other so.”

“Apparently, indeed.” She agreed. She had often wondered, on occasion, how it had been so when there had been so many hardships they’d faced. Elizabeth was more fortunate than her brother, for she had a few memories of her father holding and playing with her that had comforting on more than one occasion when she had considered the things some men said of him. And she remembered, very clearly, how devastated her mother was when he passed. She stared at the script, trying to imagine how they must have fit together for her mother to hold him so close for all these years, and she found herself the most comforted that she had been since Eliza had fallen ill.

“She is with him again,” She repeated softly, smiling over at her brother, rolling the poem back up carefully and returning it to its pouch. She set the box down, now finding it her turn to take his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, knowing they all were finding the season without their mother a difficult first. But to know that this had been between them, that their mother had held it so close to her heart…

Phillip smiled back. “And just in time for Christmas _."_

**Author's Note:**

> The sonnet was an actual poem written by Alexander that Eliza kept around her neck until she died, but historians believe it was written sometime during their courtship, rather than once they were married. BUT I wanted a Christmas fic and I borrowed some of his “we may end up being poor” insecurity letter to feed into this.


End file.
